Tuesday, 21 February 2017

A little bit lost.

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I must admit I have been really struggling lately and I can't even explain why. I usually struggle with big lengthy heartfelt posts, but this one seems to be flowing out so I am just gunna roll with it..

Everyday I wake up to a kind of groundhog day situation. I wake up, get ready, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed. This could honestly repeat itself on a loop for at least 50 days before I then throw in a little Nando's or something to break the chain. Maybe this just comes with a 9-5 job I always tell myself, but I hate it and it just seems that this is what my life has become - a routine. I know I need to do more, but I don't really have too many friends and I'm trying to save to move out, so I just continue plodding along. I know that I desperately need to break this cycle and do more but it is much harder than it sounds. I think it can become very easy to get into the habit of saying no, that you eventually never want to say yes anyway and then it becomes a vicious circle.

I feel like I have lost myself ever so slightly and this makes me sad. My style, my oomph, just everything really. I think sometimes it is so easy to just try and fit in that you lose who you are. I have always worn what I wanted and styled myself how I wanted but recently I seem to have lost that flare. The shoes or jumper that I would have picked up without a second glance, I now put back down as they are too quirky. I started to think that maybe I was growing up, but actually I think I am just getting boring and this needs to change...quirky Emmy needs to make a return immediately.

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This feeling has a knock on effect with everything. I even wanted to give up this blog at one point, but I know that this would only make me feel worse. This is my little creative, fun place. The place I come to feel better and share my stupid Funko addiction or my favourite lipstick of the moment. I am so proud of myself that I have managed to keep it going for 5 years and really appreciate the love it has received over that whole time. I know that I am not ready to give up this blog at all, I just need to get my life motivation back. Even typing this is making me feel slightly better, I'm finding it quite therapeutic actually.

I think I just need to give myself a good old shake. I don't want this to come across like a woe is me type of thing, I know there are much worse things going on, it is just how I am feeling and was hoping getting it all out in a post may help me out. 

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6 comments

  1. I feel like everyone is going through some struggles with life lately and it's badly affecting their blogs, and it makes me a little sad - and your blog is one of the cutest, if not THE cutest that I follow :) I know exactly how you feel about the routine as I've been feeling the same ever since I started working full time and I can't stand it - my job isn't my life, and it isn't where I want to be in ten years, or even five years time, so something had to change. I'm glad that you aren't giving up on your little internet corner here, and I know nothing I've said is even remotely helpful but just know that you aren't alone and I hope that things get better and you find some way to get your groove back xx

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment lovely, your nice words really mean the world to me <3 xxx

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  2. I literally just found your blog today and my most recent post is about this issue. I've just come out of the other end of this feeling. I had a routine that was weighing me down too and it really hit my mental health. That 9-5 life is so hard to deal with sometimes. I had to get out of it. So I decided to start freelancing to mix it up. It's amazing! Although it's not for everyone, and it's a risky bet financially, mentally it's wonderful. I do hope you'll find yourself again soon and NOT be put down by the fact you think your clothes are too 'quirky'. They're just you. And I like to think that part of you is just hibernating right now, ready to come back whenever she's ready to. Glad I found your blog! It's super cute btw! x

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    1. Thank you so much. I am glad that you are feeling better :) x

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  3. I used to feel like this a lot, but now I make sure to make plans, even if it's a friend for coffee, because then I had something to look forward to! You just have to figure out what's right for you :) xx
    Holly ∣ Closingwinter

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    1. Thanks lovely, I definitely just need to arrange more things to do :) x

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